I am angry, so f &$£*"ken what!!??!!

What's wrong with being angry?

I read this article in the Guardian yesterday by Suzanne Moore and it made me think back to this blog that I keep starting to write but didn't publish for fear of being labeled as 'that angry little red headed misandrist person'.  Who am I kidding...I already get called that or variations of beginning mostly with the letter 'B'.  I have been thinking of this since I watched the 'Women' documentary on the BBC in March last year.  I fell in love with Marilyn French.  She epitomised everything I had felt and repeatedly have said in the justification of my anger.  I watched her interview and wished I could have met her and learnt from her.  

Why shouldn't I be angry??


Being a woman and angry is still considered to be unacceptable even now.  Men are permitted anger, I don't even think they label it as 'anger', it often falls under the umbrella of 'honesty', 'directness' and 'being assertive'. 

So what happens when someone at work talks to you like your an idiot because of your gender?  You still get angry but you fix that smile on your face (you know the one, where your cheeks physically ache), you get frustrated because you can't vent.  Then you can feel the tears coming (this is the worst bit) but you're not sad...why the hell are you crying??  Because you don't have the freedom (as you would in a social situation to tell them to go fuck themselves....in the politest of ways of course), this makes you even more angry, because now you're one of those 'emotional crying women' and so the cycle continues. Aaaaaggggghhhh!!!!!


My anger is productive, it has helped me survive, it is the fire in my belly and I don't ever bottle it up (;)), it doesn't make me ill.  I am mostly angry at things I can't really control, things that are out of my power. 


We have a lot to be angry about.

I am angry that women still don't get equal pay for equal work, I am angry that young girls and women are being trafficked, prostituted and murdered globally.  I am angry that people assume because I am a women that I have to fulfill a particular role in society, as the wife/girlfriend/mother.  I am angry that both men and women tell me I need to be more submissive if I ever want to be in a relationship because my anger makes me intimidating.

I am angry at the things that have happened to me in my past because I am a woman but sad that these things have had to happen to give me strength, fire and inspiration. I  wouldn't change my past for anything, it has made me less afraid....not fearless, just logical and rational with my fear.  It has  enabled me to travel the world alone, to complete a degree whilst working and most importantly and justifiably.... to be angry.