I hate happy couples.
....okay maybe not all of them just the sanctimonious ones. The ones who have magically seem to have forgotten their single days. They drive me fucking nuts. If one more person ensconced in a relationship turns to me and says in that (don't worry you won't die alone soothing tone) 'it happens when you least expect it' I will drive my fist into their intestines, breaking through the outer skin, grab a handful of their bowels and whilst showing it to them will scream..."I am least expecting it now!!!!"
Ok I know love is wonderful, yummy and delightful (I have had it, been in it, swam in it, choked on it), I know you want to share your joy and knowledge and warmth. It's beautiful, it makes my eyes moist. It is just a tad condescending. You assume because I'm single that I've never...1.been in any sort of healthy relationship where I've learnt the pros and cons of coupledom... or 2.that I don't enjoy being single.
You couple types haven't suddenly become a guru like insightful sage just because you're in a relationship. All knowing and in touch with all the energies in the universe. You're just in a relationship, I'm not.
I hate insecure couples.
You know the ones that are so concerned about the potential risk of the dissolution of their relationship (which they know deep down really isn't working) they see you the single person as a potential threat. It amuses me to no end when you see them clamping ownership hands on each other in fear that you are going to steal one of them away. Nobody can be stolen who doesn't want to be, you can not steal someones boyfriend or girlfriend. People do exactly what they want to do when they want to do it. It's called free will. If someone wants to cheat they will cheat and why would you want to be with someone who would do that to you anyway? I am not the cause of the cheating I am merely a symptom of a greater issue, your greater issue.
Singledom.
You couple types haven't suddenly become a guru like insightful sage just because you're in a relationship. All knowing and in touch with all the energies in the universe. You're just in a relationship, I'm not.
I hate insecure couples.
You know the ones that are so concerned about the potential risk of the dissolution of their relationship (which they know deep down really isn't working) they see you the single person as a potential threat. It amuses me to no end when you see them clamping ownership hands on each other in fear that you are going to steal one of them away. Nobody can be stolen who doesn't want to be, you can not steal someones boyfriend or girlfriend. People do exactly what they want to do when they want to do it. It's called free will. If someone wants to cheat they will cheat and why would you want to be with someone who would do that to you anyway? I am not the cause of the cheating I am merely a symptom of a greater issue, your greater issue.
Singledom.
I love it. With a capital 'L'...it's fucking brilliant. At this moment the thought of commitment unnerves me, staying with the one person on a long term basis who I have to share my duvet, bed and space with isn't currently my idea of a good time. I am only responsible for myself, my time, my money, my life. Microwave meals are only made for one as well....
You know what really happens when you least expect it?
You know what really happens when you least expect it?
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