Is she really going out with him.... again.....v2

I went to dinner recently with a new friend and a friend I've had for years.

This woman who'd I just met was incredibly successful, attractive, intelligent ticking all the boxes of someone who I thought 'wow you're a pretty incredible person'.

.....then.....

She started to tell us about her boyfriend.
Who clearly doesn't appreciate her enough and who generally doesn't make her feel that great about herself.

Are women taught to settle as we're growing up?  It's just that I see so many beautiful, intelligent women with men they are so much better than.

What are we teaching our girls? Why are so many women lacking in confidence?  Comparing our perfect selves to that other girl with the shinier hair, longer legs or whiter teeth. The feminists in history must be shaking their heads in dismay curious to know what happened to everything they fought for. It really does just break my heart.  When did we stop loving ourselves?  When did we start thinking that it was wrong to speak out, stand up for ourselves, yell, scream or argue?  Begging for any scrap of attention that is thrown our way from our 'loved one', feeling lucky when it is, not angry that it doesn't happen more often.

Are we really that afraid to be left on the shelf? Who teaches us that we have to put up with this shit, is it our parents, society a pre-programmed biologically determinist learned behaviour?  Our need to breed and be the perfect mother/wife/sex goddess?

I'd rather be single and alone than in unsatisfying relationship and to be honest with you I've often felt lonlier in a relationship than out of one.  I know intimacy is fantastic but what is the trade off?  Is it really worth it?  I don't understand that desperate need I see in some women and men to get into a relationship.  It's almost like desperation has a smell I know people who reek of it.  Looking for happiness externally when it does't exist internally never works.

Women have so much power and more often than not we don't allow ourselves to truly shine.  Sabotaging ourselves and our fellow sisters, denying our careers, our desires and needs, our happiness to capture that unobtainable (and not very worthy) love.  Enduring physical, psychological and sexual abuse as a part of a gendered role.

We are better than this! Is this where I have to tell you to refresh your ego and strength by reading some good feminist literature?  Some Germaine Greer, Marilyn French, Susan Brownmiller or Betty Friedan.  

We are the stronger sex in so many ways and the only thing that is letting the team down is us. 

Please remember ladies...our partners can only do this to us if we allow it and more often than not, we do it to ourselves, we allow ourselves to be subjugated, we are our own worst enemy, when you get angry really angry in a relationship...honestly who are you more angry at him or yourself?.........and breath.

I don't want to have to remind you again, but I will.  It's all part of my job of going around the world empowering women and generally scaring men into submission :)