What lies between the sheets?

Two thoughts...

Are our levels of honesty connected to our levels of intimacy?


Why is it sometimes easier to be honest with our friends more than with our partners/lovers who we share the most physically intimate experiences with?  Is it that once sex is involved we become more concerned with hurting people’s feelings, or is that we potentially have more to lose?


I have quite a few male friends who I can have a healthy dialogue with regarding most topics.  I enjoy these conversations a lot and it does give you incredible insight into how the 'other side' operates :)  Although at times I worry there may be alarm bells going off somewhere signalling that one or both of us are revealing some hidden gender based secrets, a classified knowledge that shouldn't be discussed outside our own clan. 

I blatantly refuse to believe the 'Harry met Sally' concept that men and women cannot be friends and sex is always an issue, if you always remain open and honest....

...and.....

Does sex and passion or lack there of in a relationship ultimately have to influence honest communication between the sexes?  

For example sex that is such a crucial and integral part of most healthy relationships can gradually over time becomes less so.  Unfortunately when it does diminish it is generally not a mutual decision, it is a lone decision that unfortunately affects both parties.


One could argue that couples who say "sex isn't everything", there's so much more to a healthy relationship" probably aren't doing it that much.  Because, in a relationship, sex is not just about the physicality of it, there is so much else tied up (hee hee) in there with it.  The intimacy, the connection to someone you love and how it makes you feel about yourself... your self esteem and ego.  I do appreciate there are many other ways to get this sense of closeness, but sex is probably the most intense and (to be fair) fun option.

I'm not saying that sex is the be all and end all but I am not going to deny its importance either, we all are essentially carnal beings.

...but I am questioning it's connection to and relationship with our levels of honesty.