"You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you."

Can one ever be too confident?

In conventional parlance, vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others.

Are vanity and confidence married?  Vanity (in my perception) is a purely shallow idea of the physicality of someone, maybe where I see confidence as a more holistic idea of ones overall skills achievements and intellect?  Can one be vain about their intelligence?

So many questions.

 To be completely sexist, I think this blog would probably apply to women more than it does men.  Why you ask? Because men are allowed to be confident.  Women who are confident constantly get criticised and questioned about their level of apparent strength, by both women and men alike.  Negative terms are thrown about.  I find it more upsetting when women participate in this....I expect it from men.  

Why?

The conscious sabotage of a member of the sisterhood is detrimental to all of us and weakens us as a group and I feel this is mostly done in the competition for a man's attention in a man's world.   For this reason it is of dual disgust to me.  But additionally, I also feel really passionately about women (in what I percieve as a Western social expectation) basing all their strength in their image (vanity?), when we are so much more than that.


I had a friend turn to me once and say "With the way I look I can walk into any bar and pick any guy I want."  Amused my reply was "yes, you probably can, but you better start working on that personality sweetheart because those looks won't last forever."


Why do I expect if from men?  I am just a shocking sexist, so it takes one to know one I guess.;)  Strong women threaten a majority of men.


I don't really buy into the deal that 'one can be too confident' as long as it doesn't cross over into arrogance and selfishness and  becomes detrimental to your working and personal relationships, I can't see the problem.  I think those who criticise over confidence have the problem, they just don't love themselves enough.  When did it become a bad thing to love oneself?...hee hee.

Isn't genuine confidence attractive, regardless of the gender?  Really valuing oneself for thier personal and intellectual achievements.


Sure there's people, insecure people, who put up facades of confidence, but I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing.  If it works for them, so be it, sometimes it's even amusing to watch.  Personally and strangely these types are always the ones I find intriguing...the proverbial hard shelled nut to crack just to get into that soft yummy insecure interior.  

Although....sometimes they can just be really boring and the shell is the most interesting thing about them....but I'll keep searching and cracking.