Saturday bloody Saturday.....Sunday bloody Sunday to go

Yesterday what can I tell you, more trees, lakes....rinse and repeat.  Got into Winnipeg early and the morning and walked around the city with Tyler and Mario/Ceser and we were lucky enough to be with Tyler who had lived in Winnipeg for 13 years and gave us a cheaper version of the $30 official guided Winnipeg tour.  There were some interesting art installations, murals and structures in Winnipeg, but I was amazed that even at half ten in the morning in the city there was no one around at all...it’s like a ghost town it was amazing.  It was good though to get off this damn train and get some non-recycled stagnant air pumped into my lungs.  

Starting to see the scenery change more farm land more towns as we head across, Winnipeg is apparently pretty much dead centre of Canada, so a walk to the beach is out of the question me thinks.

Back on the train had lunch and decided (mostly through boredom) I was going to get me self drunk...how could this go wrong??  Well considering that booze is so damn expensive on this train unless you smuggle on a hip flask the only way you can get truly mangled is in the wallet.  Vodka is like $7 a pop (for those little airplane bottley things), so my attempt was almost successful but I couldn’t afford to get abusive and handsy drunk, much to the unknown innocence of my fellow passengers. 

Tried to learn to play Texas Hold em poker with the boys, I’m rubbish there’s too many rules to remember, thankfully we weren’t gambling for cash otherwise I would be naked and homeless in some random city in the middle of Canada.  Then we watched Year One (bits are funny) on TV. and then off to bed, for the standard 5hrs sleep on this train.  I’m thinking that if I ever did this again I would definitely need to be in sleeper class, the class I’m in is what is called comfort class which Tyler ever so accurately pointed out should be called ‘discomfort class’.  (B you would hate this to no end, the lights are left on the chairs aren’t that comfortable and people rarely use their inside voices no matter what time of day or night it is.)  Reading this back I sound like a moany old bitch, but I don’t care I feel positively ancient today .....(due to lack of sleep)and then there’s the birthday situation looming.

So woke up just outside Edmonton (where Tyler departed to visit family) this morning and its bloody well snowing…in Spring!!  I have also realised that I now have a child sitting in front of me who is about 5ish and a baby sitting behind me....yeah my left eye is twitching like mad.  Child not shutting up, playing trains and repeatedly saying "all aboard" and the baby crying behind, I’m tired and I would kill for a shower, shit at this point I would just kill for fun, I’m imagining in my mind who I am going to take out first and with what implements at my disposal.  I could change this blog and make it all happy and sunshiny but nup.. you know me and you know that when travelling not every day is going to be ‘care bear perky’ and my processed meat snacks(that I bought in Winnipeg) have all been eaten.  Tired and hungry....defcon 2....and the scenery it mostly blah...see above.

.....so if you haven’t seen an emergency news bulletin yet where some crazy redheaded Aussie went psycho on a Via Canada Rail train and slaughtered everyone with her bare hands and consequently they’re now going to have to dispose of the train because the carnage was so horrific, then you know I kept it together.

Open Scene: Melissa sitting on the floor between a couple of seats covered in blood and what looks like intestines, holding (as a weapon) what can only be described as human limb still wearing a sports sock and trainer.  She’s rocking back and forth her eyes staring off into the distance in a vacant way, chunks of human skin and gore in her hair that is mostly covering her face, repeating over and over again “they just wouldn’t stop talking, I had to make them stop”.  It’s dark in the carriage and the only light visible are red streams of lasers from automatic machine gun sights that are dancing through the dirty windows of the train like angry glowing wasps trying to find their intended target.