Communication is Key.

So here I go again....

.....after two years of not writing.

This blog started as a travel blog, damn I love travelling.  I know I probably have written this a million times in this blog (I do like to exaggerate :) so maybe it is just a few hundred).  I am truly in my element when I am travelling, I rarely get phased and relish new adventures, meeting new people, seeing new things and experiencing the variety of tastes, sights and sounds that comes along with that amazing ride. It's like throwing a fat kid in a candy store, without the gag reflex riding up in the back of your throat as you realise they have just stuck their sausage like phalanges back into a full jar of sweets after having them smeared in spittle because there just isn't enough room in their engorged face hole to consume the amount of candy they need to compensate for the dark cavernous emptiness that is the memory flash back of the overt disappointment of their parents expressions on sports day when they have just won another ribbon for being a good sport.

Why I have been rubbish....

So I felt that on my return I didn't really have anything to write about and was in danger of this becoming another 'feminist moany,ranty blog'....not that that's necessarily a bad thing.  I think we need to rant, express ourselves, vocalise our emotions, share our anguish, our happiness. It is OK to be angry, vocalising your emotions stops them from building up, waiting 30 days for a gun license and then hurting people....sssshhhhhh internal monologue. I don't think we do this nearly often enough.  Being an Australian in London has sometimes been difficult, I am not great at 'keeping a stiff upper lip' (to put it mildly) or not wearing my heart on my sleeve.  Like I have said repeatedly on this blog everything I am thinking is written all over my face, so even if I do lie to you (which I am appalling at), my face could potentially be telling you a completely different story.  

I am hopelessly human....

We are emotional creatures, we are not infallible things seep through the compartments (sounds gross doesn't it like packing custard in box), it's inevitable, it's biology, chemistry and all those annoying neuron type scenarios that fire off when you least expect or want them to. I have never been ashamed by my feelings (although sometimes frustrated at my lack of my control of them, there isn't enough yoga, meditation or chanting that will shut this gob up it's even worse when you add alcohol, spin a few times, light and throw and hey presto! Melotov Cocktail...see what I did there ;)).  My honesty has got me in to more trouble than it has got me out of.  Trust me when people say they appreciate, love or admire your honesty....DO NOT LISTEN they don't actually think for a second you will actually be honest.....but I just can't stop myself, it's like a drug or a very meaty sandwich to me that I just have to sink my teeth into. ;) 

I am unbelievably vulnerable but have often found myself apologising for this to ease others discomfort and worst sin of all pretending I'm not...I am so very tough, HA! I do believe everybody is in the same boat as me or maybe not....(Melissa turns to the basketball with the smiley face drawn on it and moves it in an agreeing nodding motion). Maybe I am just too self aware and although this leads me to occasionally being overtly self critical, I'd rather this than live a life ignorant to my own feelings and those of others.  I am awake and aware, I refuse to sleepwalk through this one amazing life I have.  So watch me cry, yell, laugh, point and judge, you lot do it in your heads I'll get up on the stage under the spotlight....what's the worst that can happen cue: sound of crickets echoing in an empty theatre.

So I will start writing this blog again and will not change the title as “A journey of a thousand miles must always begin with a single step" any journey whether it be travelling or not starts with a single step, life being the most important, massive journey that it is(that Lao Tzu knew what he was talking about). Sometimes smooth with the breeze at your back and the sunshine warming your face and sometimes bumpy, cold, uphill and you find without your knowledge that some fucker has changed your gears to the hardest level.  This is where the learning curve comes in right? You know for next time, better tyres, slower pace and lower gears.  You are in control this is your life, your ride, your choice why make it hard on yourself?  

So I will continue to write about what I know I'm good at writing about, you lot, life and all the shit that goes with it.  Why? Because y'all fascinate me and disturb me in equal measures, the paradox of the human race....if  you're lucky and I'm even luckier there will be more travelling (South America being top on my list), adventures and hilarity....with occasional bouts of rage, sarcasm and reality.