23 March 2010

She'll only come out at night......

                                                    
Cougar....Large solitary cat or a woman who’s attracted to men 8 years her junior..(Thanks Wikipedia)
 
This term drives me completely nuts for a few reasons, I think it's sexist as there is not equivalent for a man in this role.  When I questioned a male friend of mine what the label was for an older guy going out with a much younger woman the humorous reply was 'lucky'...fair enough I thought.

So why do women get a label synonymous with a large predatory feline? Is it the age old thought that women in general shouldn't be overtly and expressively sexual?  Is it inappropriate still in this day and age for a woman to be predatory, to be the seducer?

Is this the need for this terminology?  To label sexually confident women doing things that a majority of society feel uncomfortable with?
 
Can't we also be simply 'lucky' for having something pretty and shiny and fresh on our arm.

Well, when I'm roaming North America as a lone hunter ambushing potential prey, I'll have a think about this and get back to y'all.

5 weeks to go....



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6 comments:

  1. Andrew24 March 2010 at 17:29

    Well, there's always the manther....

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  2. Melissa24 March 2010 at 22:27

    'manther' isn't derogatory...it's a cutsie blendation word like 'shenis' or mangina' it's not tied up in any sexist connotations

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  3. Anonymous27 March 2010 at 17:56

    I seem to remember once in the distant past the derogatory term for younger man going out with older woman was "toyboy". The suggestion being that, sooner or later, he would grow up and find someone his own age. Does this term drive you just as crazy, for the same reasons? By the same token, is older man who becomes attached to younger woman more likely "sad" than "lucky" or does that only count if it is older, married man longing for younger woman?

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  4. Melissa28 March 2010 at 08:29

    I had honestly never considered toy boy to be a derogatory term and hadn't thought about the connotations behind it as you have suggested.

    The equivalent to this for the younger woman is gold digger, so maybe a toy boy needs to just grow up but a younger woman is automatically assumed to be pursuing financial gain, which seems to be a lot more offensive. I think this is what concerns me is that terms for women generally seem to have a more negative slant.

    Regardless, I do feel that any labelling using the basis of gender is inappropriate.

    Although, I think in our society generally speaking, it's more common and accepted to see an older man with a younger woman and not the other way round. You only have to look at magazines to see articles about Madonna and various other high profile celebs with their younger men in tow, to see that it is still considered news worthy.

    I don't understand how an older man would be seen as "sad" in a couple with an age disparity...and if he's married...well that's a whole separate cup of tea... :)

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  5. Anonymous29 March 2010 at 05:40

    It is hard, when thinking it through, not to come to the conclusion that most of the language is metaphor for power relations or transgression. The labelling may be "inappropriate" but what the labels reveal is a deeply normative patriachal world-view which disguises its distaste for transgression with irony.

    Speaking of world-view, the lone hunter roaming the plains of north America may be surprised at what she finds ...

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  6. Melissa25 April 2010 at 10:46

    Interesting blog link to follow up on this topic http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/what-is-slut-shaming/

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