Harden the f**k up...“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

I can't even remember who said this to me....


I had a party once and was bummed out that people hadn't come to it, and a friend who was there said to me 'do you realise how insulting it is that you’re more bothered about the people who didn't come than your friends who made the effort to be here' 

Two points here... 

Firstly.. 

There's always anxiety when you’re organising a party that is focussed around you, it takes you back to childhood when you were trying so hard to fit into that 'popular group'.


You can deny it as much as you want and project that adult confidence that you have now gained through successful relationships, friendships and careers....but it's still there, inside that little child voice questioning whether people really like you..if they did they'd make the effort, come to your party.


Yeah you pretend it doesn't matter....


Ok so it doesn't bother you who comes, who doesn't - you weigh up the responses or lack thereof, you certainly try not to consider the potential loyalty issues...that may exist...


You could be all Zen and consider that these people are busy, have their own situations to deal with and frankly why should you be a consideration in their busy, busy lives.


Secondly...

Why do we care so much about people who clearly don't care about us, what is it with humans, is it in our nature...? 

As an ex-anthropology student I've taken into account the whole Mauss concept of giving and reciprocity and accept the fact that no one is truly altruistic.  As a human being your feelings get hurt that people can't make the effort, it's just human nature....people you may never see again, and it just seems a shame.



But Ronnie Johns (and many very good friends ...big bear,bossy blonde and a particular Irish fellow to mention a few...) doing Chopper Read would say....'sweetheart you need to harden the f**k up'



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkIVvjZc9Y